It was once stated I was not going to feature anything like a directory of restaurants or reviews, mainly thanks to TripAdvisor and Facebook ruining the ‘expat website’ game for everyone. Not to mention that I’m a lazy bastard and I can’t be arsed to actually attempt to provide a service for any of you lot.
Today, I felt quite compelled to write a review for a restaurant on TripAdvisor; but they hadn’t got themselves listed on there yet. That does not mean that they shall escape my scathing criticism, for I shall write my review upon here instead.
Everything on the wall here just screamed ‘Americana.’ The air-conditioning was on rather cold, yet somehow hitting that sweet spot where it really cooled you down, yet didn’t leave you wanting to put your jacket on. I was guided towards the menu by the waitress, which was already placed at my table.
There were three plate sizes to choose from, the smallest being known as the ‘Skinny Minnie’ – which implied that it was intended for slender local ladies who weigh about 50 kg wet through. The ‘Boss Hog’ featuring three different kinds of meat sounded rather excessive, like it was intended purely for fat people. Sure, I’m fat but I’m trying to eat more like a normal person, so I merely ordered the ‘Big Bubba.’
Both of the non-chicken options were selected with fries and BBQ beans. The meat had been cooking for several hours as they apparently have a massive smoker out in the backyard, but the food came to table very quickly indeed. What arrived was to shock me.
That’s a normal sized portion? In Europe, we absolutely love to take this piss out of Americans for their comically large portions, but this genuinely intimidated me. The rack of ribs was so large that they covered up the portion of chopped pork was hiding underneath. It’s a good thing that I ordered a Diet Coke to wash all this down with.
Never had I seen the appeal in those Man vs. Food type challenges, but I began to felt that I had accidentally entered into one. Even the BBQ beans somehow contained pork; there was nothing kosher about anything on that tray whatsoever.
Getting through the meal was rather difficult; the meat may had been rather tender and juicy but even my larger than average stomach has its limits. By the time, I had finished that meal, I had eaten so much pig that Winnie the Pooh and Tigger had called me to ask about their missing friend who hasn’t been seen for about three days.
This meal was expensive by local standards but I had definitely gotten my money’s worth. Eating breakfast the next day will be optional. All of the good work put in walking for long distances has been cancelled out by this bout of meaty overindulgence.
If I was to return here again, I would hope that they would allow me to share a plate with a friend. Either that, or I must face the shame of ordering a ‘Skinny Minnie’ portion. Regardless, this is definitely the worst vegan restaurant in Da Nang.
You can find the restaurant at:
6 Trần Văn Dư, Bắc Mỹ An, Ngũ Hành Sơn, Đà Nẵng 55000, Vietnam
Đà Nẵng Diaries 